Sunday, December 11, 2005
â 1:59 AM
well it has been a relatively quiet weekend...enjoying my time cathcing up with movies that i've wanted to watch...
been doing a lot of thinking this pass few days...my friend and i were trying to sum up our year...i was telling her mine hasnt been a good one...got fooled twice...sigh...life is a roller coaster...betrayal by friends...saw my loved ones loose their love ones...many emotional ups and downs...she asked me at that moment wat was i feeling...i told her empty...been feeling that way for sometime...she asked me when i started feeling like this...smiles and says i dont know...but in truth i was lying to her...been feeling like this since the start of 2005...at times i do feel happy and sad...but most of the time i feel empty and i'm my own little world with my own little thoughts...thinking things through...i've been asking myself the same question every day since the start of the year...should i've done things differently...was there anything i should have done to make things better...then i realised make things better for who?my self of cos...maybe by making things better for everyone else instead i could be happy...to that i dont know the answer...
i was telling my fren about wat happened at cgh...she told wat doesnt kill u only makes u stronger...true...but honestly the experience at cgh has left a bitter taste in my mouth...i gues by sucking up u can actually go far in this industry...sad but through...people don c pass the cheaters and liars...wat should i do suck it up and go on? honestly part of me wonders y i'm even doing this...i'm just so disappointed in people...they would do anything to get far...wonder how they can sleep at night...no moral values...
got selected for mentor leadership camp this year...to go back as a team leader...sadly it clashes with clinicals and i wasnt given early warning by the mentor lecturer or i could have made some arrangements with mr ho...well that's all said and done...he's on leave now...
went to dye my hair again yesterday...the roots were showing and they were ugly...the stylist choose a colour to match my roots so it'll groe out nicely...very happy...